#2015 | under the weather again

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As I’ve been relegated to the couch, here’s my unhappy bedfellow

No romanticism about it, I’m just sick again, and it sucks. I saw two doctors this time and they are divided on what it means, but agreed on the point of it being non-contagious, meaning technically I can (and will) continue working. The bottom line is, I’m either the victim of a random viral attack, or have developed a tragic late-life allergy to shellfish. Please, Lord, no.

The worst part is, sick me is delirious me, aka totally hallucinatory me. The medicines have hit me hard, and I’ve been living life in a blurry haze the past week. I keep dreaming up plans that I’ve made, or texting people based on conversations I thought we’d had… it’s embarrassing. It’s funny, when I first read My year of rest and relaxation by ottessa moshfegh i didn’t like it at all, but I suddenly find her character’s Ambien induced wooziness extremely relatable, if not desirable. The difference for me, is that life, by both necessity and circumstance, must go on.

x
Jem

#2014 | i made a meme


am i young now

i tend to shy away from crowds so i’ve been avoiding the Jewel opening, hoping to wait it out till the hype pipes down.. but the boyfriend, tourist that he is, excitedly signed us up for the public preview along with fifteen thousand other people it seems and told me we were going on monday morning. That was this morning btw. I nearly had a panic attack because there were people EVERYWHERE. And I’m ultimately a creature of comfort, of familiarity, so obviously i located the nearest starbucks and ducked in. The idea was to ride out the panic attack until either the crowds died down or i was calmed by the dulcet tones of a smooth nitro cold brew being pulled.

No luck with the first, but a good compromise – the second floor of the new Jewel flagship is quiet, comfy, and serene, and more to the point, it is absolutely gorgeous. There was this hand chiseled mural of the starbucks siren which the team later told me took two months to do, and what a mural. I was so blown away i took a million photos of it then made a meme because that was the only way i knew how to express accurately how i felt. I know, i know. Shame on my English degree, etc etc. I’ve heard it all before. Get over it. Sometimes a meme is just funnier, o.k.

x
Jem

#2103 | pretending to be a tourist in the sun sun sun

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sentosa island, singapore

the thing about loving eggs is that when a mega gudetama pop up event happens, approximately 4000 people forward you the press release. Like, i get it guys. I’m not really the sort to visit pop ups, especially not when they happen under the sweltering singaporean sun, but i made an exception this time because a visiting friend was in town. What can i say except that it was super fun, and that after returning home i made like a gudetama and collapsed on the cool marble floor of my house? Nothing, really, as that just about sums it up. Nothing at all.

x
Jem

#2102 | what do you make of that

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I’m not an insecure person but with Athena, I always wonder. My boyfriend’s brother keeps sending me articles that supposedly prove the evil nature of cats. Apparently they mew to imitate baby noises. Apparently they know it tugs on human heartstrings. Apparently they dont make that sound at any other animal. What do you what do you what do you make of that. Well the honest truth is I don’t like babies, I find them scary, but when Athena mews I come bounding. Her affection feels like currency on a volatile stock market. I’m always trying to hug her and she’s always giving me the side eye. But one day she came and sat on my lap when working and I nearly peed myself in wonder. She loves me! I hissed. Shane took his phone out to capture the moment but she had already walked away. We joke that she hates everyone. That actually she doesn’t, that this is just her face. That actually isn’t she the same breed as grumpy cat. That actually isn’t she the cutest thing you’ve ever seen, so cute that when she looks at you you just want to curl up and die, that when she gives up walking halfway because she is too lazy and flops sideways on the floor it’s the most adorable thing in the world, that when she gets scared by her own reflection in the mirror it’s the funniest thing, so funny you can’t stop laughing, for hours and hours and hours. What do you make of that. Is she a smart cat or a stupid one we can’t even tell. Athena keeps eating plastic and I don’t know what to do about it.

x
Jem

#2101 | reading update

So far in 2019:

January

If Beale Street Could Talk by James Baldwin
The Plotters by Un-su Kim
Travel Junkie by Julia Dimon
A River in Darkness by Masaji Ishikawa
The Effect by Lucy Prebble
The Gritterman by Orlando Weeks
Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman
Dear Ijeawele by Chimamanda Ngozi Adiche
An Amorous Discourse from the Suburbs of Hell by Deborah Levy
Standard Deviation by Katherine Heiny
Feast Days by Ian MacKenzie
A Public Space issue 27
Swing Time by Zadie Smith
Mary Ventura and the 9th Kingdom by Sylvia Plath

Book of the month

If Beale Street Could Talk by James Baldwin / The Effect by Lucy Prebble

Feburary

Book Love by Debbie Tung
Mr Salary by Sally Rooney
Come Rain or Come Shine by Kazuo Ishiguro
Becoming by Michelle Obama
A Thousand Years of Good prayers by Yiyun Li
Certain American States by Catherine Lacey
Waiting by Ha Jin
Heartburn by Norah Ephron
Dept of Speculation by Jenny Offill

Book of the month

A thousand years of good prayers by Yiyun Li

March

Educated by Tara Westover
A Manifesto for Arts Funding by Alfian Sa’at
China is Messing with your Mind by Bilahari Kausikan
The Power of a People by Kuik Shiao-Yin
The Silhouette of Oppression by Kirsten Han
A Good time to be a Girl by Helena Morrissey
The Authentic Lie by Pandora Sykes
Vox by Christina Dalcher
Hot Milk by Deborah Levy
I WILL SURVIVE : Personal Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transexual Stories in Singapore edited by Leow Yangfa
The Leavers by Lisa Ko

Book of the month

Edcuated by Tara Westover

It is now April – I have read The Sun on my Head by Geovani Martins, and A Map of Betrayal by Ha jin. I am now re-reading Tash Aw’s We, The Survivors, which is launching today in the UK.

Good times.

x
Jem