#1843| this week’s column

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Hey guys,

What started out half a year ago as a simple get-to-know-you platform seems to have taken on life of it’s own and grown into a full fledged advice column.. so I thought i might as well make the most of it and post a collection of the most memorable / interesting / pressing questions here.

I care too much about what people think of me sometimes, how do you be in the spotlight and not be affected by it?
i dunno, i think worrying about what other people think of me was just a phase that i’ve outgrown.. here, i hope this helps you: http://inoveryourhead.net/the-complete-guide-to-not-giving-a-fuck/

which filters do u use from afterligt? i thought afterlight makes your photos look vintage and faded, but for yours it comes out bright and colourful! which is vv pretty 🙂
thanks x Hmm no fixed filter, mostly Idaho and some of the basic ones depending on what the setting is?? But plenty times I just adjust the brightness and contrast without any filter!

I have a close friend who likes to reply to my worries and doubts as “lol” and “relax la”. It makes me think that my problems are not really problems and I’ll get insecure about it. FYI, she can give really good replies to others, but why not me? I reply her doubts and worries well…

Sounds like she probably can’t be bothered with your problems. Sorry- I know it’s hard to hear. But she’s taking you for granted. Even if your problems are crap, she has the responsibility to at least offer you a listening ear. Time to find better friends.

will you wear a bikini? or do you only wear 1 piece swimsuits? I’m really self conscious even though i want to try wearing a bikini. I’m not chubby or anything just that I am a little more chubby than the average girls. My stomach isn’t that flat but it protrude and my legs are chubby. no thigh gap. It makes me sad that I do not have the thigh gap too cause my other friend who is taller than me but weigh less, does and she was telling me how someone told her about thigh gaps and that she was really glad that she has one and that without one, legs look all fat and chunky. When she noticed that I did not have a thigh gap, she slowly stopped talking and changed the subject. I started exercising in hopes to shed a few kilos and recently, she has been telling me how fat she feels and how she wished she was as ‘slim’ as me. Even though I am clearly not slimmer than her and have weight issues.

hollywood has a lot to answer for.

i’ve said it once and i’ll say it again. this thigh gap thing is ridiculous and honestly a bit of a shallow obsession. NOONE EVEN LOOKS BETWEEN YOUR LEGS WHEN THEY MEET YOU. also, if they do, you should probably run away.

you don’t have weight issues. people with anorexia and bulimia have weight issues. dont trivialize that. you have what is commonly known today as an unrealistic and unhealthy obsession with how people see you. it’s really great that you’re starting to exercise but it should be because youre trying to be healthy and not because you’re trying to attain some ridiculous standard of misconstrued beauty. im not saying that girls who have it are ugly, im saying that if your body type is not naturally skewed to have that kind of structure, tearing yourself up over it is kind of stupid. Beyonce is a queen and she doesnt have a thigh gap. Jennifer Lopez, Lady Gaga, Tina Fey, Jennifer Lawrence, Kate Winslet, Hayden Panettiere and Tyra Banks are all gorgeous well known personalities and none of them have thigh gaps.

Please be sad over something more worthwhile, like the crisis in ukraine or the korean ferry disaster, or on a more local scale, doing badly for a test or missing opportunities love and life and what not. I’m sorry but i really cannot bring myself to sympathize with any tears shed over a lack of a thigh gap. Goodness.

On answering the other question you asked, I only own one swimsuit, which is a halter neck cut one piece. All things considered I’d probably not wear a bikini for the simple reason that i don’t think i’d look good in it and there being other cuts that flatter me more. If you want to try on a bikini, go ahead, but dont do it if it’s going to make you hide under a towel the entire time at the pool and worry about what other people are thinking of you instead of actually having fun swimming and splashing around in the sun.

after having been in a relationship for a while, what things/tips are you learning about being in one? ^_^ boys need to be fed regularly

is it a cliche if i feel like writing poetry about my breakup with my bf? i’m in so much emotional pain about it but i can’t tell anyone because they’d be all “i told you so” (he’s kinda a jerk) and writing in my journal just makes me sob.every.single.time. All I can see is a huge blotchy mess.

nah it isn’t, and even if it’s a cliche, so what? it’s a cliche for a reason. Go ahead. Do whatever you need to move on.

you should have a column in the newspaper called “Dear Jemimah” and answer aunt agony style questions

And people could pay me and then I would be rich and able to pay off my student loans

OMG I’M AT JEM’S ASK FM BUT FIRST LET ME TAKE A SELFIE
no.

Read the rest of my answers over on ask.fm here.

x
♥jem

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