GOOD EVENING you guys i am twenty and it is my birthday and it was the best. birthday. ever. (!!!) ok, it’s still the 21st when im writing this but there are a million photos and things to say so maybe it will be the 22nd when i end but whatever that is not the point.
Because it’s been such a hectic couple of days no months no years no life, i completely forgot about my birthday which doesnt seem possible until you realize that i forgot we were in september altogether.
So after class yesterday, a day before my actual birthday, Lexy and the rest wanted to go to the NBS library (which has a cinema you guys, this is some kind of fabulous) to watch Mulan which i love, except i was a little bit stressed out over two writing pieces i had to submit today so i was all like no no you all go i have to sit in a corner and drink a lot of beer and bleed out two papers and they all exchanged very weird glances and dragged me to the library anyway.
And then things just got progressively weird because they stole my shoes and my bag and sat in front of the door when i wanted to leave for animation class and it basically resulted in
to which i got a lot of defensive replies like
Yup.
I think they also got a bit scared because i looked genuinely frustrated i was like BITCHES I HAVE TO GET TO CLASS and they started singing along to A girl worth fighting for and i was just a bit like what is this i dont even WHAT IS WRONG WITH ALL OF THEM.
This quickly evolved into a very high level debate on whether the film was a commentary on homoerotic tension and the subversion of feminine desire or something
I mean i dont even.. yeah whatever. For more, see Am I Gay? A Journey of Self Discovery with Shang.
Anyway just when the film was getting to the best part (Shang was about to find out that Mulan was a female and then get all confused over his feelings for a girl who he thought was a guy and then was revealed to be a girl again) everything went dark and my friends basically shouted HELLO HAPPY BIRTHDAY and stuffed my face with a scarf and dragged me out of the cinema and into the library
I got a little bit terrified at this point (cue: squeaking guys we are in a library we are in a LIBRARY) because i thought they were going to bring me to some public arena and then shame me by throwing things at me because i dont know it might have been funny.
Essentially i had to navigate the treacherous stairs in heels with no sense of sight or sound (they stuffed headphones over my ears and started blasting some very strange clubbing music so i REALLY looked like a terrorist) and then because they blindfolded not only my eyes but my entire face (they took it out later when i complained) it got a little bit hard to breathe and when i lack oxygen i start doing really queer things like this
They tell me i started acting like a cat and biting people in reach and pawing their faces but i will deny all such accusations until further proof is produced.
I walked from one end of school to the other as i realized later but let me tell you, it felt like i was walking to JB. Also people kept shouting at me (i managed to shake my head until the headphones fell off so i could hear things) and saying things like HAPPY BIRTHDAY/ I AM YR MUM and so on.
And then i got shoved down on a chair and spun around and people started meowing at me and then the blindfold was ripped off and then
people started yelling HAPPY BIRTHDAY at me and i was like 1. omg its my birthday 2. omg everyone is here 3. omg its magical 4. omg, omg, omg.
I was also shaking for about ten minutes after the blindfold was ripped off because i was in shock but they all found it very funny.
IT WAS GREAT.
Seriously there has never been a better party in all history of twentieth birthdays because there were all the Essential Elements in it. There were:
1. Hot girls
2. Hot Guys
3. Hot Guys pretending to be girls
Also, er, inappropriate groping. See Above.
4. Mystical Voodoo jinglebojangle
I am not even kidding guys is this not the most amazing thing you have ever seen or what. The ADM boys sewed it together and it is a JEMMADOLL, complete with ombre hair (they really dip dyed it) and button eyes so the creepy coraline reference is complete there. Andrea says when she wants to wake me up from now on she’ll pinch this doll’s head.
5. Pretty damn good music
Marcus and Jon playing She will be loved and Come Together and Happy Birthday and me being very dazzled.
6. BLACK AND GOLD BALLOONS TO MATCH MY HAIR because bitch please, color coordinating your outfit is so last season. Its all about coordinating your interior decor now.
They seriously turned pitchstop into such a magical place with the decor and balloons and everything. the NUS kids who came down were all so super impressed with our cafe pitchstop because ‘this is not what school food is like man’
7. A PHOTOBOOTH ive always wanted my own photobooth :’)
The instant photobooth was made by Ju, sparkly backdrop and all.
8. Moustaches
This is extremely strange you guys.
9. CAKE
Some people even got to eat it, too.
10. An adequate amount of public shaming
Yeah so to all the people who have been asking me to pin up/do something about my hair, you’ll be delighted to know that my friends have taken the liberty of solving the problem…. with helium balloons.
11. And a whole lot of class.
Yep, that’s what im talking about.
Thanks for making my 20th such an amazing one all of you! It was really mindblowing to see so many of you make your way down to pulau NTU to surprise me, whether you guys are new friends or friends from a gazillion years ago. :’) Seriously when i saw you all i was just like GAH SO MANY EMOTIONS WHAT DO I DO WITH THEM you guys are the best xxx
If you (understandably) want to stalk the rest of my very good looking and talented and wonderful friends, the rest of the photos are uploaded on a public album here.
Special thanks to my most spectacular superstars Andrea and Cindy who, as i heard later, were stressed out over this surprise party for weeks. Seriously it was the most AMAZING surprise party ever i am just so amazed at the fact that you guys live with me yet managed to hide this from me for so long
Xiaoqi the boyfriend who now doesnt want to be known as the boyfriend because she has gotten an actual boyfriend ( :'( ), for all the mad coordinating planning and people herding she is so fantastic at
You guys are just so amazing :’)
I was just squealing this line over and over nonstop the entire night to a very unimpressed andrea
Although on hindsight maybe that was because i caked her. ^^
Also special mention to superman shane and juju
Drea and cinch wont stop singing Shane’s praises- he did the wall deco, handled the balloons, and basically was santa’s #1 elf. Juju did the photo booth, arts n craft, and was the night’s unofficial photographer together with drea so i had my entire surprise documented.
+ the entire kidnapping team, who had to deal with my scratching biting and pawing… come to think of it i put up a pretty good fight. But i thought i was going to be publicly shamed, so..
Everyone who came down, sent well wishes, or had any part in the planning- till now i dont have full details of what went down behind the scenes, but suffice to say, i have the most amazing friends a girl could ask for 🙂
And what did i do today, on my actual birthday?
You guys remember what i said in front about being stressed out over those two assignments due today? I stayed up till 4+/5am writing the night away, my favorite kind of all nighter, and then rushed off (late) to my 930am class with bloodshot eyes and no sense of hand eye coordination. Afterwhich i came back to my hall room and concussed for about 5 hours straight before coming home and writing this very long post out. I also received several international calls and wishes (thanks guys!!!! so sweet of you all to keep a keen eye on the time zone differences hehe) and my favorite thing to do which i do not get much of because, you know, School n shit, is sleep, which i had plenty of today. It was great.
Much love from the ex-teenager.
x
♥jem