Currently listening to:Bruises by Chairlift
i have discovered the secret to effective essay writing:
1 part homemade soup
1 part 5am
1 part night-before-its-due desperation
1 part insanity and I’m not even kidding about this part because i was going completely insane i literally could not sit down to get started i was pacing around and scribbling and rearranging completely un-academic-related words on paper scraps and tissue bits. ok, i see you guys backing away warily now so I’m going to shut up.
of course, karma was a complete bitch and having no sleep the previous night didn’t do much for my personality today. But on the other hand, i have a pretty fresh fiction paper all formatted and cited and whatnot ready to be turned in tomorrow morning! Sounds like an alright deal, i’d take it anyday.
drop me a tweet at @jemmawei if you’re going to be at the OCBC influencer’s event down at Duxton tomorrow night and we can meet up and talk about.. banking.
Last night, at about 2am
there are so many words in my head
its so cluttered in here
its so noisy
i said to my head, i am done with you
i am done with you ok
you leave me alone now
i have serious real world work to do
this stuff actually makes a difference to my GPA
possibly my ability to fend for myself in the future
but my head replies, no, i wont
come, write, ignore your texts and academic journals,
sit here with me and talk to me
sit here with me and explain the dichotomy between what you want and what you need
no, i said, leave me alone,
i cant indulge in the luxury of prose with you
i need to FINISH THIS DAMN ESSAY
why? it asks. but you havent even started on it.
doesnt really matter. wouldnt you rather talk to me? type out something youre actually interested in? think about overflowing run on lines and writing a poem that has no structure because your life has no structure? who the hell has a conversation with their own head anyway? its two am! forget kafka. you dont need kafka. do it tomorrow. youre great at procastinating anyway. its like your signature.
its only my signature because you keep distracting me, i retort, but im not as angry as before.
lets come clean here, strip it to the core. you dont really want to write a serious paper. then you’ll have to deal with MLA citations (oh dear god) and footnoting and being all serious and structured with proper 2.0 line spacings and in text citations and times new roman. youre not a times new roman girl. youre not even a fonts kind of girl.
leave me alone
no, it says, i dont want to, and if you’ll let yourself admit it, neither do you.
no, it says, come away with me and drown yourself in your own words instead of psychoanalying the hell out of someone else’s.
no, it says. and what are you doing now? look at yourself. what are you doing now?