Currently listening to:This charming man by the smiths
Status:pissed off with the washing machine.

when I look back now
at the abuse I took from
her
I feel shame that I was so
innocent,
but I must say
she did match me drink for
drink,
and I realized that her life
her feelings for things
had been ruined
along the way
and that I was no mare than a
temporary
companion;
she was ten years older
and mortally hurt by the past
and the present;
she treated me badly:
desertion, other
men;
she brought me immense
pain,
continually;
he lied, stole;
there was desertion,
other men,

yet we had our moments; and
our little soap opera ended
with her in a coma
in the hospital,
and I sat at her bed
for hours
talking to her,
and then she opened her eyes
and saw me:
“I knew it would be you,”
she said.
then she closed her
eyes.
the next day she was
dead.

I drank alone
for two years
after that.

my first affair with that older woman/ charles bukowski

Im done with the law of second marriages by christine chia, and halfway through Dash And Lily’s Book Of Dares (David Levithan) as well as Battle Royale (Koushun Takami). It’s very disconcerting to simultaneously read a book on silly teenage ideals and another on all-out descriptive violence and gore, such an extreme dichotomy of literary works.

Back in the real world i have been trying unsuccessfully to convince my parents to let me get a bike license, but my dreams of laughing at Bus C (sole purpose in life to make students miserable and late) as i chug by happily in a cream colored vespa is quickly slipping away. Their faith in my ability to stay alive is despondent.

x
‚ô•jem