#2106 | Amenable

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This is what I consider press-conference garb, obviously. Here you see me sleep deprived and in between interview sessions at the Dr Wu press conference last month, a mad 48 hours in Taipei, running across the street for – you got it – the strongest iced americano the place has. My hair is no longer that color of purple-rose thanks to my recent diving expeditions, but when I saw this picture in my phone’s photo album I felt this pang of missing something artificial and man-made but something that you’ll still love to bits anyway. I’m currently in Okinawa filming a travel series for Jetstar and Okinawa Convention, blonde, because I’m sure i’ll dive here too, but I’m thinking about going back to that hair color when I get back. Yes, thats exactly what I’m thinking of – my hair. This is really the extent of my consideration and concerns at this point in my life because the girly frivolity is precisely what I need to balance out things in my head. Not that life has been super mega heavy for me of late, but for some reason I’ve felt incredibly low on energy and I suspect I went through a minor burn out somewhere in the last one month without me noticing. As a result yesterday I did something I havent done in years – I went shopping. I got into a cab during my half-day alone in bangkok, went to the nearest mall, bought like five things, and then I went to get a matcha latte from some specialty matcha store, and I recognised the cliche mimic of my actions, and I liked it. I remember thinking to myself at one point: I work hard. I deserve this. and I remember the reflexive guilt that came with it. I dont know why we are all conditioned to be so hard on ourselves. Perhaps this is the strange limbo between graduation and assured adulthood that I am experiencing, this unmooring, this coming undone. Perhaps not. Either way, it will pass, and so will your phases of doubt. Chin up.

x
Jem

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